Title: Five Things Robin Really Didn't
Want to Know about Batman - posted April 21,
Author: Lacey McBain
Characters: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson,
Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd
Summary: It's always the same.
Note: Written for puckling.
Five Things Robin Really
Didn't Want to Know about Batman
Robin costume in the Cave has never been worn by Jason Todd. It’s been
put on display, an item in a private museum of pain. It’s only slightly
less unhealthy for Bruce to have it here, out in the open, where they
can all see it. It’s an admission of sorts—that he couldn’t save
But there’s another costume that rests in a lead-lined
box behind a secret panel in the back of Bruce’s closet. It’s ribbons
of fabric, the red dark and dirty with blood. It’s the one Jason died
in, the one Joker laughed over while he beat him senseless. Bruce
peeled it off Jason’s cold flesh and kept it—because he can never
afford to forget.
Tim wonders if someday Bruce will do the same for him.
can successfully battle his way out of a bar in drag and three-inch
heels. Tim wouldn’t have doubted the fact, but he really didn’t need
the first-hand evidence to be a believer either.
Tim never wants to see Bruce grab a batarang from his garter belt ever
struggles to push Batman’s bulk into the decontamination chamber in the
Cave. Scarecrow’s fear gas had been lethal for most people, and only
slightly less so for Batman. Tim will never admit it, but he’s
terrified, and it’s got nothing at all to do with Scarecrow; he didn’t
even get a whiff of the fear cocktail this time. No, it’s all Bruce,
and Tim wishes he’d thought to gag him before he locked him in there
because then he wouldn’t have to listen to this litany of terror. Tim
doesn't want to know all the things Bruce is afraid of, and no one
should have to know the things that make Batman afraid. No one.
Tim finds remnants of dental floss in the Batmobile, stained with a
tinge of blood.
“Did you garotte somebody with dental floss?”
Bruce rolls his eyes and taps the GPS.
“Seriously,” Tim says, picking up the floss between two gloved fingers,
“is this the newest weapon in our arsenal?”
“Good dental hygiene cannot be taken lightly, Robin.”
dosed with sex pollen is only moderately less aggressive than an NFL
linebacker in a championship game. Tim’s quick and nimble, but he’s no
match for Bruce’s sheer brute strength and force of will.
don’t want to do this,” Tim says, using his staff to sweep Batman’s
feet out from under him. It’s apparently a ploy, though, and Tim has to
relinquish the pole or get hauled in closer like a fish on a line. He
drops the staff and sprints for the exit.
He’s got a hand on the
door when he feels the sharp tug at his cape, and he falls back,
slamming against Bruce’s body armour. A gauntlet pets his hair, and Tim
squirms but can’t get away. Bruce is too big and too strong, and
there’s no way this is going to end any way but badly.
“Batman! Bruce! I know you don’t want to do this,” Tim pleads, knowing
it won’t do any good at all.
the door slides open, and he sees a flash of vibrant blue just before
Bruce screams and clutches at his face. The distinctive smell of pepper
spray floats down, and Tim locks the eye-shields in place on his mask.
Bruce lets him go, and there’s enough time for Nightwing to grab him
and pull him out the door and to safety.
“How did you know?” Tim asks, and Dick grins back, wickedly.
“Nevermind,” Tim says, hoarsely. “I don’t need to know.”
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