Title: Snow Job - posted June 5, 2005
Series:  Dark Space (Shadows and Stone)
Author: Lacey McBain
Rating: R.  Slash.   Bruce/Lex.
Summary: Bruce wants to stop Lex from doing something both of them will regret.
Disclaimer:  Bruce and Lex aren't mine - in any universe.  Damn.
***

Snow Job

Bruce strode through the darkened corridors of Excelsior’s north tower, listening for any hint of a noise.  All he could hear were his own footfalls whispering against the heavy tile floor.  In his pocket, his fingers crumpled the ragged scrap of paper that had sent him on what he was beginning to think was a wild goose chase.  He’d already covered the first three floors without a sign of Lex or anyone else, which wasn’t surprising given that it was a Sunday evening and most of the school population wasn’t due back from the long weekend until tomorrow.  He was clearly being ridiculous.

The last set of stairs was dimly lit and Bruce hesitated, one hand skimming the mahogany railing.  Lex was probably sitting in their room wondering where Bruce was.  The chances of Bruce finding him in the tower, finding him with … well, even if he was here, what business was it of Bruce’s, anyway?

Except—wait.  Voices.  Two different tones, both male.  Bruce drew in a quick breath and picked up his pace.  What the fuck was Lex thinking?  This was just reckless and stupid.  When Bruce had found the note, he wasn’t sure if he was reading it correctly.  Sure, Bruce knew Lex occasionally “helped out” the student body by supplying them with pharmaceuticals—at a reasonable profit—and “blow” was certainly referring to cocaine, but then again …  Bruce shook his head.  This was Lex, and anything was possible.  He’d learned that the hard way over the last few years.  Lex attracted more trouble than a man who’d spent a lifetime walking under ladders and haphazardly breaking mirrors.

Bruce practically vaulted up the last set of stairs.  Now he could clearly hear two voices. Low murmurs and laughter.  He knew that laugh.  He’d heard it almost every day that he’d been at this school, and sometimes even in his dreams.  It was as familiar to him as his own.  Maybe more so.

Cresting the stairs, Bruce slowed his pace, forced himself to breathe.  He was over-reacting.  Lex was just hanging out with someone.  Even if he was dealing, there was nothing to worry about, nothing to panic about.  Bruce peered down the corridor to where a pale glow was coming from a candle hastily shoved into one of the wall sconces.  The flame flickered crazily as red wax dripped in a steady stream down the side of the sconce and onto the carpet in the hall.  No one paid any attention to it.

All Bruce could see was the perfect curve of a familiar bald head, the light from the candle casting uneven shadows across his scalp.  Lex was on his knees in front of an alcove, hands hidden in darkness in front of him, a wicked smile on his face.  Whoever he was with remained in the shadows, and Bruce found himself taking a step forward before he could think.

Fuck.  Not cocaine.

The sound of a zipper and an impatient “Come on, Lex, don’t tease,” was enough to get Bruce moving down the hallway at double-time.  He grabbed Lex by the back of his collar and yanked him away from the other boy.  With a surprised sound, Lex tumbled onto his ass and sat blinking up at Bruce.

“What the fuck?”

Bruce fixed Lex with a look that said plainly they’d talk about this later.  He glanced at the other boy who was hastily zipping his trousers and tucking in his shirt.  Brandon Wallis.  A star athlete and first-class jerk, a grade behind them, but almost as tall as Bruce.  He wasn’t intimidated at all, just stared back with a shit-eating grin on his face and licked his lips.

“Hey, Brucie,” he said, and his eyes were a little too wide—pale, watery blue with pupils blown.  Cocaine courage.  Bruce knew that look.  He’d seen it enough times in Lex’s eyes to never want to see it again.

Bruce flexed his fingers and wondered how much trouble he’d get into if he punched the kid.  Brandon was probably high enough he wouldn’t even feel it until the next day.  But Alfred would be terribly disappointed in him, and Bruce knew he’d have to explain exactly what he thought he was saving Lex from and that … well, that wasn’t going to happen.  He didn’t lie to Alfred if he could avoid it, and he wasn’t prepared to tell him the truth either.

“You’re high,” Bruce said.  He could still pull off disdainful elitist brat when he wanted to. “Go back to your room, and we’ll forget this happened.”

“But we weren’t finished.  Didn’t even get started,” Brandon complained.  Bruce caught the smell of something strong on the kid’s breath, and he caught a glimpse of a half-empty bottle of scotch languishing on the floor.  Not Lex’s.  Something cheap and unrecognizable.  God, sometimes Bruce hated nouveau riche.

“You’re finished.”  Bruce picked up the bottle and handed it to the kid.  “Take off.”

“But Lex was going to tutor me.”  The slur turned into a leer, and Bruce shoved a hand in his pocket to keep from hauling off and hitting the kid.

“Lesson’s cancelled.”  Bruce stepped back, yanked Lex to his feet, and pulled him down the hallway.  He didn’t even look back, and only realized he was half dragging his roommate when Lex choked out his name.  Bruce let go.

“Fuck.”  Lex rubbed at his neck, and glared at Bruce as they headed for their room on the third floor.  Bruce slid his key into the lock, swung open the door, and pushed Lex roughly inside.  He didn’t bother turning on the light.  He didn’t need it to see, and he wasn’t sure he particularly wanted to look at Lex’s face right now.  Just for once, he wanted to be wrong about what Lex was up to.  He couldn’t even chalk it up to Lex being stoned or drunk.  His eyes had been as clear as summer sky, and his breath smelled of peppermint, not booze.

“Bruce, what the fuck?”  Lex undid the top buttons on his shirt and rubbed at his throat again.  “Was that really necessary?”

Bruce stood with his back against the door and watched Lex pacing in the small space.  It was always like this when he was upset.  Lex would pace like a caged animal, and Bruce would stand immobile as a statue, all of his energy focused on keeping his hands from wrapping around Lex’s slender neck and choking him senseless.  He’d never known anyone so frustrating.

“What were you doing?”  It seemed like a stupid question, but Bruce felt he had to ask anyway.  In case.  Maybe he’d misunderstood, misinterpreted.  Maybe Lex hadn’t been about to put his hands in Brandon’s pants and wrap his mouth around the boy’s cock.

But somehow Bruce doubted it.

“You really have to ask?”

Lex’s voice was light, almost playful, and it was totally the wrong tone for this situation.  It just made Bruce angry.  Didn’t Lex have any idea how stupid he was being, what a risk he was taking?  Lex was always one step away from expulsion.  Getting caught with drugs and screwing around in the hallway was going to guarantee him a one-way ticket back to Lionel, and away from here.  Away from him.  Bruce couldn’t watch that happen.  He didn’t think he could survive Excelsior if Lex wasn’t here.

“What are you doing?” Bruce asked, trying to keep his voice even.  His breathing was more rapid than it should’ve been, his heart racing with adrenaline, and he knew this wasn’t going to end well.  The two of them had had their share of fights, but they were heading for a blow-out, and Bruce wasn’t entirely sure their friendship was going to survive.  And as much as Lex drove him insane, he couldn’t imagine a better friend.  Lex had been the centre of his world since he was nine.  “Come on, Lex, what the fuck are you doing?  Drugs and now …”

Bruce didn’t want to finish the thought.

“Well, I was about to give Brandon a mind-blowing—”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

Bruce reached out and grabbed Lex by the shoulders.  He could feel the tension in his stance, the way he had his back up like a cornered cat.  If Lex had had hair, he was sure it would’ve been standing up on end.

“It’s none of your business, Bruce.”

“The fuck it isn’t.”

“Temper, Brucie.  You know Alfred hates it when you swear.  He blames me for that, you know.”

Bruce shook him hard enough he heard Lex’s teeth hit against one another.  “Don’t do this.  I’m not going to let you—”

“What?”  Lex brought his arms up in front of him and smashed them against Bruce’s biceps, breaking his hold momentarily.  “You’re not going to let me what?  Have a little fun?  Do what normal healthy teenagers do all the time?”

“It’s not that.”  Bruce grabbed the finger Lex was thrusting into his solar plexus with surprising force.  Lex reached for Bruce’s other wrist and wrapped his fingers around it as tightly as he could.

“Then what?”  Lex grimaced as Bruce bent his finger back at an unnatural angle.  They stared at each other in the dark for a moment, breathing hard, and Bruce felt his wrist twist even as he pushed Lex’s finger.  It hurt, but he wasn’t about to let Lex know that.  He heard Lex give a small gasp, and Bruce wondered if Lex would stop him before he broke something.  They’d never actually hurt each other badly, but it was always a possibility.

The hard toe of Lex’s shoe caught him in the shin, and Bruce let go with a grunt.  They stood there assessing the damage, Lex rubbing his finger, Bruce massaging his wrist.  Stalemate.  Maybe now they could talk.

“What I do and who I do it with is none of your business,” Lex said evenly, every word as measured as the throw of a knife, and with every word, Bruce felt his heart race a little faster.  This wasn’t going well at all.  One of these days he was going to lose Lex, and life wouldn’t be worth living.  Lex was the best friend he’d ever had.

“Lex.”  Maybe it wasn’t too late to mollify him, shift the balance.

“No, Bruce.  What the hell were you doing there anyway?  How did you even know?”  Lex sat heavily on the edge of his bed and rubbed a hand over his bare head.  “Never mind, you always seem to know.  But I don’t get it.  Why do you even care?”

Bruce opened his mouth, and closed it again without saying a word.  He didn’t know how to answer that.  Didn’t Lex know how much he cared?  What he’d do to protect him?  They’d been friends for six years already, and Lex still didn’t get it.

Since there was no response from Bruce, Lex kept going.  “Seriously, if I want to suck off the whole polo team, why should it matter—”

That was too much.  Just the idea of Lex down on his knees, his beautiful mouth being used by guys who couldn’t care less about him … it was too much.  Bruce pushed away from the door and grabbed Lex again, pulling him to his feet and pressing him against the wall.

“It matters, Lex.”  Bruce’s voice seemed loud in the suddenly quiet room.  “You’re better than that.”  He knew his fingers were digging into Lex’s shoulders, but he didn’t care.  He had to make him understand.

“Yeah, not your average cock-suck—”

Bruce slammed Lex back against the wall, hard enough that he heard the bookshelves rattle.  “Don’t talk like that!  You’re not … that.  You’re so much better than that.”

“Better than what?  Just because I’m a Luthor, doesn’t mean I can’t be a—”

“Stop it.  It has nothing to do with being a Luthor.”

“Then what?”

“You’re just you, Lex.  What you’ve always been, and I’m not going to let you throw everything away for a quick—”

“What if I want that?”  Lex’s voice was sharp and direct.  Bruce knew there was a raised eyebrow and a pair of eyes fixed on his.  “What if that’s what I want?”

Lex took a step closer, forcing Bruce to move back or be pressed up against Lex.  His breath caught a little in his throat.  Lex was close enough Bruce could smell sweat and musky deodorant.

“No.”  Bruce had no idea what that meant, but it was the only word his mind seemed capable of forming.  Brandon and the north tower seemed a world away right now.  The room was suddenly full of Lex, and Bruce didn’t know what to do.

“No?”  Lex’s classic smirk, and another step forward.  Bruce felt himself reaching to find a solid surface behind him.  He put his hand on the door handle and stepped back.  Lex followed him, matching step for step.

“It’s what I want, Bruce.  What I’ve always wanted.”  Lex was right against him now, and the solid plane of the door felt like the wall they set you up against just before they execute you.  The brass knob slipped out of his sweaty hand.

“You don’t mean that, Lex.”

“What if I do?”  A low whisper that felt like it was sweeping across his skin.  Bruce wondered when Lex’s hands had settled on his waist, when he’d become the one being pursued instead of the other way around.  “What if I want to do exactly that?  Kiss beautiful boys with dark hair and dark eyes, kiss them in shadowy hallways, pressed against stone walls.”  Bruce wasn’t sure why it suddenly thrilled him to know that Brandon’s eyes had been pale blue, his hair blond.

“You’ve read too many gothic novels,” Bruce managed to get out, but Lex only laughed and pressed closer.

“Maybe, but I’ve read other books too.  Boys at boarding schools getting up to all kinds of things.”

Bruce felt his face flush, and he rubbed his palm against the smooth wood of the door.  His palm was slick, and Lex was so close Bruce knew if he turned his head even a little, they were going to bump noses.

“What—what things?”

“Nasty things.  Things like I was going to do to Brandon in the north tower.”

Bruce felt a finger slide across his belt buckle, and trace the outline of his zipper.  He didn’t moan, biting his tongue instead, and he wondered if this was just another version of chicken they were playing.  It was hard to tell with Lex.  He tried to concentrate on Lex’s voice, but it was difficult with that finger tracing the outline of his erection, Lex’s thigh slipping between his legs.

“I would’ve stripped him down, Bruce.  Leaned him against the wall, and touched him.”

“Touched.  Him,” Bruce repeated.  He swallowed, and tried to keep up with Lex’s words.

“Yes,” Lex murmured against his cheek, and Bruce could feel goose bumps raising the hairs on his arms.  His erection was pressing against his zipper painfully, and Lex’s steady up and down stroking wasn’t helping.  “With my hands.  My mouth.  I would’ve sucked him in and—”

“Fuck,” Bruce moaned, and pushed weakly at Lex’s shoulders.  If they didn’t stop now, they weren’t going to, and Bruce didn’t know what that would do to them.  He wanted Lex, wanted him to do what he was talking about, but he didn’t want it to ruin their friendship.  That was more important.

“I want to, Bruce.  I like guys.  I like Brandon.  I wanted to taste him in my mouth, swallow around his hard, wet—”

“No!”  Bruce yelped, as Lex rubbed him particularly aggressively, and Bruce pushed against his hand.  He could feel Lex’s erection against his thigh, rubbing as Lex shifted to get closer to him, and Bruce slid a hand around Lex’s back and pulled him in.

“Why not?” Lex asked, leaning back just enough to find Bruce’s eyes.  Their noses brushed, and Bruce could feel Lex’s soft breath on his lips.  They were close enough that Bruce could kiss him.  All he’d have to do was lean forward and …

“Bruce, why not?  What’s wrong with Brandon?  I want to do it.  I want to suck—”

“Fuck, Lex.”  Bruce’s words slipped out in an exhale.  “If you want that …”  He stopped and closed his eyes.

“What?  Tell me,” Lex pushed, letting his thigh rub against Bruce’s groin.

“Me,” Bruce whispered.  “If you want that … let it be me.”

Lex’s mouth collided with his, and Bruce couldn’t breathe as Lex kissed him hard enough to bang his head back against the door.  Bruce didn’t care.  All he could think was that Lex was kissing him and it was awkward and messy and unbelievably hot.  It hadn’t been like this when Lex had kissed him when they were twelve, but even then, Bruce remembered a tiny shiver down his spine.  In three years, the shiver had grown into a bolt of lightning, and he finally let go of the door and wrapped his other arm around Lex.  He tugged at Lex’s shirt, and succeeded in finding the skin at the small of Lex’s back, warm and damp.  It was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt.

“Lex,” Bruce whispered, not knowing what to say, what to do, and even as he opened his lips, he felt the push of Lex’s tongue between them.  It traced the outline of his lips, then darted inside, sliding across his teeth and around the sides of his mouth.  Bruce opened his mouth, leaned his head against the door, and let Lex kiss him.  It was incredible.

It took him a moment to realize Lex had stopped kissing him.  There was a tug at his waist as his belt sprung apart, the zipper was yanked down, and Bruce felt the slide of hands on his hips.  His pants were being pushed down along with his briefs in one smooth motion.

“You don’t have to—”

“Shut up,” Lex said, and flicked his tongue at the tip of Bruce’s cock.

“Fuck,” he said, and banged his head against the door as Lex licked him more surely, tongue slicking all around the tip of his cock and along the underside.  One hand reached between his legs and stroked his balls, and Bruce couldn’t help but moan and shift every time Lex touched him.  No one had ever touched him there before.  It was never like this when he did it, and this was Lex.  His best friend.

Oh.  God.

Lex tentatively put his mouth around the head of Bruce’s cock and sucked.  Bruce thrust his shoulders back against the door and arched.  Then there was the sensation of being wrapped in wet heat, and his hands found Lex’s head and caressed it as gently as he could given that every movement was making him squirm.  At some point he registered the sucking sounds, and that was almost enough to push him over the edge.  Lex was sliding his mouth up and down, hands still stroking, searching, exploring, and Bruce wriggled at the new sensations that were assaulting him.  Lex kept losing his rhythm, and pulled off to take a breath at one point before sucking him in again, and Bruce suddenly realized something.

“You’ve never done this before.”

Lex hesitated, forgetting to shield his teeth for a moment, and Bruce made a pained moan.  His cock slipped out of Lex’s mouth and hung there, hard and straining as Bruce leaned back against the door and tried to calm his racing heart.

“Sorry,” Lex murmured and switched to stroking him with his fingers.

“No.”  Bruce cupped the back of Lex’s head.  “That’s not what I meant.”

“You want to critique, or you want—” Lex opened his mouth and sucked Bruce inside again, pulling off with a loud, wet pop.  “—to come.”

“Fuck,” Bruce said again, and pulled Lex’s head into his groin.  Lex laughed and mouthed Bruce’s cock, finding a rhythm with fingers, lips and tongue, Bruce trying as much as he could to thrust without hurting Lex.  He didn’t know what it felt like to Lex, could only imagine the taste and the musky smell, the feel of his cock on Lex’s tongue.

He felt himself tighten with anticipation, and started to push Lex’s head away.

“Lex, I’m gonna—”

There was a side-to-side shake, and then Bruce was coming.  He was pretty sure he’d said Lex’s name, but whether it had been a scream or a whisper, he had no idea.  Lex choked and gagged, falling back on his heels.  Bruce closed his eyes and hoped Lex didn’t throw up on their bedroom floor.  That wasn’t exactly the scene he’d imagined for the end of his first blow job.

Lex gagged once, and then seemed to get it together.  He leaned back and wiped at his mouth with the corner of the sheet dangling down from the nearest bed.

“That’s my sheet,” Bruce pointed out, as he reached down and pulled up his briefs.  He kicked his pants off.  No point worrying about them now.  It was time for bed anyway.

“It’s your cum.”

Bruce was glad they hadn’t put any lights on.  He could only imagine what colour his face was.

“Do you want a glass of water?” Bruce asked, and didn’t wait for Lex’s answer.  He slipped into the bathroom and cleaned himself up, then poured a glass for each of them, wondering if they should be keeping something stronger than water in the room.  Brandon’s cheap scotch was looking pretty good about now.  Bruce dampened a washcloth with warm water, rang it out, and draped it over one arm, before picking up the glasses.  The room was still dark when he opened the bathroom door, and he saw no reason to turn on the light if Lex was comfortable in the dark.

Lex took one of the glasses, and Bruce wordlessly handed him the washcloth.

“Thanks,” Lex murmured, wiping his face with it before shoving it under the bed.  Where it wasn’t a reminder of what they’d just done.  Bruce sat on the edge of Lex’s bed, since Lex was still leaning against his, and wondered if they’d just made the biggest mistake of their lives.

“Wish we had the scotch.”  Bruce sipped at his water.

“It was cheap scotch.”

“It would do.”

Lex set his glass on the night table, and looked at him.  Bruce knew the blue eyes were evaluating him, assessing his state of mind, and it made him nervous because no one had ever known him as well as Lex.

“Was it that bad?”

It took Bruce a minute to figure out what Lex was asking.  He thought it had something to do with the quality of the scotch, and then he realized Lex was asking about what they’d done.

“No,” Bruce said with surprise.  “God, Lex, no.  It wasn’t bad at all.  I just thought—well, I’ll admit it, I’m a little … thrown.  This wasn’t what I expected when I went looking for you.”

“What did you expect?”

Bruce rubbed awkwardly at his neck, and thought about it.  He knew Lex would wait if he needed time to answer.  Things hadn’t changed that much between them.

“I found the note Brandon sent you.”  Bruce decided to answer the unspoken question.  “It was beside the trash can, and I checked to see if it was important before I threw it out.  I wasn’t going through the garbage.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I wasn’t!  But the note made it sound like … well, I wasn’t sure, whether it was coke or … and I was worried about you.”

Lex stared at him and waited.  They both knew that wasn’t the whole answer.  Bruce took a deep breath and shook his head.  “I—I just couldn’t let you do that.”

“Why not?”

Bruce lay back on the bed with a sigh of frustration.  “I think we adequately covered that in the earlier portion of the evening, Lex.  Unless you weren’t paying attention.”

“Refresh my memory.”  Lex was being stubborn, and while Bruce would’ve normally told him to go to hell, it was less than fifteen minutes since Lex had had Bruce’s cock in his mouth, and Bruce kind of felt like maybe be owed Lex a little bit of leeway under the circumstances.

“I told you.  I don’t think you should do that with someone who doesn’t care about you.”

“That’s not what you said at all.”  Bruce didn’t think Lex was going to hold him to his exact words.  Jeez, it’d been kind of hard to concentrate with Lex pressed against him.

“If you know what I said, why are you asking?”

“I want to hear it from you.”  Bruce held back a smart response and waited.  Lex’s voice was sincere, and something else … there was a tiny tremor in it.  The kind he only got when it was really important, and when he was trying his best to pretend that it wasn’t.  Bruce owed him honesty.

“I said if you wanted to do that, it should be me.”  Bruce said it slowly, letting the words hold the weight of their friendship.  “It should be someone who cares about you, not a random stranger in a hallway.”

“That’s what I thought you said.  More or less.”  Lex sounded thoughtful, and a little bit surprised, as if he hadn’t really expected Bruce to tell him.  They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Bruce wondered if Lex was going to let the subject die when something occurred to him.

“Why did you want me to think you’d done this before?” Bruce asked quietly, and he almost missed the soft sigh Lex gave in response.

“I’m sorry.”

Bruce slid off the bed, and onto the floor beside Lex.  There was no way he was going to let Lex think he’d done something wrong.

“What’s the matter with you?”  Bruce reached out and turned Lex’s shoulders to face him.  His face was hot, and he felt more embarrassed than he’d felt in a long time with Lex.  Still, he had to do this.  “Do you really think my reaction was telling you your technique was terrible?”

“I don’t have any technique.  I just …”  Lex trailed off.

“—did what felt right.”  Bruce got a nod in response.  “Lex, it was … great.  It felt … really hot.”  Bruce knew he was whispering, but jeez, Lex should know this.  He shouldn’t have to tell him it was fucking amazing.  Lex had made him come, and maybe it could’ve been anybody’s mouth, but Bruce really didn’t think so.  It was Lex, and that meant something.

“Really?”  Lex’s voice perked up, and Bruce shook his head.  Lex was going to go from insecure to full-of-himself in less time than it took Bruce to move back to the other bed.  A hand on his arm stopped him from shifting.  “Bruce.”

“What?”

“I wanted it to be you.”  Bruce glanced at Lex in surprise, but all he could see was the top of a bald head.  Lex was focused intently on a spot somewhere between his knees.  “I’m sorry, but I wanted it to be you, and I didn’t know how else to make you want me too.”

“Whoa, whoa.  Back up.”  Lex’s chin was rigid, and it took an effort to get him to tilt his head back and let Bruce look him in the eye.  “You wanted me to find the note?”  A nod, and Bruce understood the blown look in Brandon’s eyes.  “Brandon pretended and you cut him a deal on cocaine.  Am I getting close?”

Lex nodded, and his Adam’s apple bobbed awkwardly.  Bruce closed his eyes and shook his head.  Trust Lex to set up a complicated sting operation rather than just saying something to him.

“Lex, why didn’t you just—”

“Just say ‘hey, Bruce, I want to suck your cock?’  Yeah, and after I picked my teeth out of the carpet, you would’ve been looking for a new roomie and a new best friend.”

“What part of ‘it should be me’ did you not understand, you moron?”  Bruce couldn’t believe the level of stupidity Lex could demonstrate considering he had a genius level I.Q.  It was unbelievable.  There were days when Bruce was positive the test scores had been wrong.

“You didn’t mean it,” Lex said with conviction, and Bruce wondered if hitting Lex would make him feel better or worse at this point.  Maybe he could just kiss him instead, but that would probably lead to bigger problems than either of them could deal with right now.  He had a sudden thought, and reached a hand towards Lex’s groin.  Bruce’s fingers grazed Lex’s still-firm cock. 

“Fuck!”  Lex scrambled backwards, looking at Bruce like he’d committed murder.  “What are you doing?”

“You didn’t—I mean, I didn’t even think about it.”

“I’ll take care of it later.  It’s not important,” Lex snapped at him.  “Besides, that’s not what we’re talking about.  Don’t change the subject.  You always do that.”

“I do not.  And for your information, this is the subject.  Us.  You and me, and—and—”

“Sex,” Lex hissed.  “The word is sex, Bruce.”

“I know that, Lex!”

They sat side by side on the floor and listened to each other breathe for the next few minutes.  When Bruce figured he could say something without yelling, he laid a hand lightly on Lex’s arm.

“You set me up.”  It wasn’t an accusation.  Bruce tried to keep his tone as light as possible.  God knows, he wasn’t going to complain, but he needed to know what Lex had been thinking.  And for how long.

“In a manner of speaking,” Lex admitted.

“And what if I hadn’t found the note?”

Lex snorted.  “Like you’d ever leave a piece of paper lying on the floor.”

It didn’t matter if it was true, Bruce decided a glare was an appropriate response nonetheless.  “How’d you know I’d stop you?”

A shrug, and Lex’s shoulder brushed against him in the darkness.  “Just a feeling.”

“And how long have you had this feeling?”  Bruce wasn’t sure if he really wanted to hear the answer, although he had a pretty good idea it’d been a long time, and he was just now starting to clue into that fact.  Shit.  How could he not know his best friend wanted him like that?  They slept in the same bed half the time.  How could he be so blind?

“I was prepared to wait.”

“You have the patience of a gnat.  How long, Lex?”

“A long time.”

“Lex.”

“Well, I kissed you when we were twelve, didn’t I?”

“That was just practice,” Bruce started, but even he realized how lame that sounded.  He laughed, and he could feel Lex relaxing beside him.  God, they were screwed.  And if Lex had really been waiting for him to get a clue … wow.  Three years, and Lex wasn’t a patient person.  “So you’ve known a long time.  I’m still figuring this out.”

“I know.”

Lex shivered, and Bruce reached back to drag the blanket off the bed and pull it over their legs.  “It was nice.”

“Nice?”  Lex sounded indignant.  “Nice?”

“Really nice?” Bruce said with a grin, and Lex punched him on the arm, but not hard enough to hurt.

“Thanks.  I’ll just take my bruised ego and go to bed.”  Lex stood up taking the blanket with him.  Bruce let him.

“When I said you hadn’t done that before, it wasn’t a criticism, you know.”  Lex hesitated in the door to the bathroom, the blanket dragging behind him like a cape.  “It was more shock than anything—that you’d waited.  For me.  I figured you’d probably already—”

“No,” Lex said.  “I wanted it to be with someone special, someone I care about.”

“And was it?”  The question hung between them for a fraction of a second before Lex turned around.

“Definitely,” he said.  “You’re always going to be my best friend.”

The bathroom door closed, and by the time Lex was finished, Bruce had changed and climbed into his own bed, stealing the blanket off Lex’s to replace the one Lex had taken into the bathroom with him.  Bruce tried not to hear the short moans from the bathroom, but his hearing was too good.  He knew exactly what Lex was doing, and he was surprised at the feeling of regret that came with knowing he hadn’t been able to give Lex the same kind of feeling Lex had given him.  Maybe another time.  Definitely another time.

And that was a scary thought.  Lex climbed into his own bed, and Bruce heard the usual routine of straightening the pillow, untucking the sheets, and finding a comfortable position.  Usually on his side, facing Bruce.  Tonight was no exception.

“Bruce?”

“We’re not going to talk about this anymore, are we?” Bruce asked plaintively.  He talked to Lex more than anyone, but still there were times when he didn’t understand the need to talk everything to death.  Actions were more important, and Bruce knew what Lex had done tonight said more about his feelings than words ever could.

“Are we okay?”  Lex sounded subdued. Worried.

Bruce thought about it for a moment.  It was an important question.  “Yeah.  I think so.”

They’d come close to crossing a line before; they’d pushed each other, teased each other, but that was usually when one of them was drunk or flying so high he couldn’t see a way down that didn’t involve mass destruction of everything around them.  This was new. 

“Me too.”

Lex shifted again, and Bruce wondered how much this was going to change things.  They’d always been there for each other, depended on each other, held each other when the world fell apart.

“Do you want me to …”  Bruce wasn’t sure if sharing a bed with Lex would be conducive to sleep anymore.  The thought scared him a little.  Lex had always helped keep the nightmares at bay.  He’d lost track of how many nights they’d climbed into each other’s beds, just to know there was more to the world than darkness and pain.

“I’m fine.  You?”

“Fine.”  Bruce had to trust that Lex would tell him if he needed him.  Whatever was happening between them had been coming for a long time, and Bruce suspected they still had a long way to go in figuring it out.  But as long as they had each other, he knew they’d be okay.  Somehow.

“Go to sleep, Lex,” Bruce said through a yawn, and pulled the covers up around his shoulders.  He fell asleep listening to the sound of Lex snoring.

THE END

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